i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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