i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.