ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?