I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i drank out of a bidet.
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In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
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I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.