oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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