So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is