reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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