I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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