Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize