I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
