That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
