If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
