The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
