Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize