I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
