dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize