i would punch a child for taco bell
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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