so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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