why didn't you poke me back
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
