its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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