I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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