Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize