We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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