I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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