There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize