The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
