hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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