$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
