i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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