Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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