shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
