I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
