So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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