Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
