You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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