somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
