No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
