You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
