just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
