Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
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She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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