So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.