he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
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It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
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i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He better not be in your backpack
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.