I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
