I'm eating all of the evidence.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
