I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
