He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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