Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
