I look better un-naked...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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