i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
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Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
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