and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
