My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
