Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
