This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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