are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet