Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to