Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.