They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?