just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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