2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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