You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it's like iHOP with fire
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize