You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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