I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize