just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
