he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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