Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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