he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.