Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...

  (714): View more from California

  Didn't you just get a DUI last week?

  (818): View more from California

  Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it

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  (818): Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong... (714): Didn't you just get a DUI last week? (818): Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it http://tfl.nu/by7p
  Replies (3) Good night (2761) Bad night (705)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.

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  (972): And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P. http://tfl.nu/17d7
  Replies (27) Good night (842) Bad night (2768)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.

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  (734): Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea. http://tfl.nu/2hiy
  Replies (18) Good night (835) Bad night (4919)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?

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  (971): you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything? http://tfl.nu/ldjb
  Replies (25) Good night (5353) Bad night (830)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know how to spell recollection?

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  (724): You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there (412): You know how to spell recollection? http://tfl.nu/3vjh
  Replies (16) Good night (5487) Bad night (1397)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.

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  (410): She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her. http://tfl.nu/tg03
  Replies (97) Good night (4392) Bad night (9881)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

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  (828): Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis http://tfl.nu/fz5v
  Replies (6) Good night (5982) Bad night (811)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.

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  (217): I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos. http://tfl.nu/dg53
  Replies (10) Good night (3299) Bad night (1376)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????

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  (704): How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How???? http://tfl.nu/5jk2
  Replies (20) Good night (2355) Bad night (868)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

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  (425): Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested. http://tfl.nu/cy6p
  Replies (5) Good night (1362) Bad night (769)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

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  (740): This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod. http://tfl.nu/pyaj
  Replies (9) Good night (1849) Bad night (626)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter

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  (724): Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter http://tfl.nu/v115
  Replies (2) Good night (1453) Bad night (503)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"

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  (541): I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail" http://tfl.nu/tdde
  Replies (11) Good night (2836) Bad night (567)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.

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  (401): Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/njfk
  Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (315)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's right. I did.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's right. I did.

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  (403): That's right. I did. (403): You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing. (403): That's right. I did. http://tfl.nu/55sv
  Replies (5) Good night (323) Bad night (483)

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