Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
