Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no, it is just poor

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  (248): windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam (630): no, it is just poor http://tfl.nu/96gb
  Replies (75) Good night (875) Bad night (2639)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...

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  (432): ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today... http://tfl.nu/2fwj
  Replies (11) Good night (2405) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.

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  (613): I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/nxz1
  Replies (35) Good night (12068) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential

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  (330): I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential http://tfl.nu/2wmk
  Replies (5) Good night (3146) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job

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  (651): I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job http://tfl.nu/40rf
  Replies (62) Good night (6670) Bad night (2022)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.

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  (201): Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man. http://tfl.nu/hm6h
  Replies (4) Good night (3404) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.

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  (440): By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER. http://tfl.nu/qy49
  Replies (10) Good night (2028) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.

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  (231): I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon. http://tfl.nu/pf2r
  Replies (21) Good night (7312) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.

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  (817): Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night. http://tfl.nu/bkam
  Replies (7) Good night (2114) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.

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  (919): Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side. http://tfl.nu/vqy8
  Replies (6) Good night (2920) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.

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  (218): You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate. http://tfl.nu/a3k9
  Replies (18) Good night (4207) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.

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  (760): No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity. http://tfl.nu/loos
  Replies (1) Good night (481) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.

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  (309): You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed. http://tfl.nu/qkqo
  Replies (2) Good night (1734) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm about to be a big disappointment.

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  (405): Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake. (405): I'm about to be a big disappointment. http://tfl.nu/y7r2
  Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample

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  (306): apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample http://tfl.nu/rtrx
  Replies (6) Good night (1451) Bad night (389)

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