You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
