went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?