yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"