tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
