They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.