is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
