I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
