You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
