I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
